It is not uncommon for an American diner to try to take you to a different time or place. The 1950s are a popular destination, but the tropics seem to be a close second. The Paradise Diner in Richmond, Virginia, attempts to do the latter. This attempt at escapism hurts the Paradise Diner as it tries to forge its way through a more competitive and diverse world and illustrates the problems that traditional American diners face in the modern culinary landscape.
Well, that, and its undercooked over-easy eggs.
To its credit, the Paradise Diner does not attempt to hit you over the head with its tropical theme. It looks like a normal diner, standard-fare booths, a walk-up counter, inoffensive lighting and old men stuffing their faces with grits at a table in the back. The not uncommon greasy spoon features, including a television tuned in to NBC's "Today" show, should not bother most greasy-spoon goers. An interesting floor-plan choice for the restaurant was the placement of a long community dining table situated in the middle of the dining space which has the capacity to seat multiple parties.
The long dining table was a nice feature which seemed to work. On this Friday morning, a cop and firefighter sat across from some other customers who may or may not have known each other before the morning encounter. But it's easy to be distracted from this community of breakfast eaters by the walls covered with pictures of beaches, setting suns, boats, and waves cresting and crashing. The theme was supposed to put the customer on a seaside resort, ready to watch the surf as he eats his two-egg breakfast. Notwithstanding a sign hanging on a wall that said, "Welcome to our piece of paradise," the effort was insincere, conspicuously distracting from the food and community aspects of the restaurant. This diner was better situated to honor the spirit of providing dirty, greasy-spoon meals for average Joes, not some imagined paradise in a Richmond, VA, strip mall.
The temptation to take patrons to another world must be strong for these hole-in-the-wall diners as their location is so nondescript. The Paradise Diner is tucked in the back of a shopping center near another eatery that provides a seamless, yet exotic, escapes for their customers – you can take a trip to Thailand at the Ruan Tong restaurant! What a bummer for the Paradise Diner, a restaurant just trying to serve folks the same flapjacks and grits momma made.
Besides the ethnic food options, a greater concern for greasy spoons is the expanding options available to people who may normally be their customers. From what little I know of Richmond, the city has become more cosmopolitan over the last decade. This is a great development for Richmond's food lovers, though it's a threat to the greasy-spoon diners, especially with the advent of New American food. As America's hip and young people are willing to wait for hours to get in the door at their new exciting neighborhood brunch place (see Portlandia, "Brunch Village"), they're leaving an American institution – the greasy spoon.
In the same shopping center as Paradise is an eatery called, Max's Positive Vibe Cafe, offering such foods as a black bean burger, which one reviewer on Yelp said was "yummy" as he gave the restaurant five stars and continued to describe the restaurant as follows: "Feel good food, wonderful mission. Fresh and interesting menu, Friendly service. Will go back!"
This will never be the Paradise Diner. It does not care for an interesting menu and certainly does not give two shits to provide "friendly service." To the greasy-spoon aficionado "good service" is preferred to "friendly service," meaning we'd rather never have our mugs of coffee go empty than see our server's stupid hipster smile. Paradise executed the service part perfectly. No, I was not thrown a smile when I entered the restaurant. And the server was busy when I sat myself at the counter so the cook clumsily took my order with no forced effort to hide her indifference. But my coffee was never more than half empty – excellent service.
Paradise had one big advantage in its particular location. Max's Positive Vibe Cafe and the Thai food restaurant did not offer breakfast, at least on weekdays. It had the neighborhood to itself, and certainly tried to take advantage of the competitive edge. Between 6:30-8 a.m., Paradise offers a two-egg, bacon or patty sausage, choice of grits or home fries, and a slice of toast for only $3 (does not include drink). After 8 a.m. this meal jumps up to $5.95, but includes a choice of muffin and a cup of coffee (See picture above of the other breakfast specials).
When taking in a greasy spoon for the first time, I always order the two-egg breakfast. It is simple, yet the execution of this minimalist meal either comes out a masterpiece or breaking bad, often saying everything you need to know about the diner.
Paradise failed to execute: The home fries were plain and the eggs were undercooked. It was not a complete failure, however, as the bacon tasted fine and the biscuit was good. But that's about all that can really be said for the meal – on such a minimalist breakfast piece, the eggs and home fries are the crux of the ensemble.
Paradise's saving grace, like most substandard diners, is it's cheap menu options. The restaurant's long dining table fostered the type of community interaction that can transform diners into dynamic forums of democratic discourse. It would be a shame to see these types of place go the way of the dodo bird. However, like many of our democratic institutions this diner needs to get back to the basics of fostering what made it great. In this case: cooking greasy-spoon food and not escaping to the beach.
Rating: two stars out of five.
*In honor of the great late John Steinbeck, who would have turned 112 years old yesterday, Mr. Ford Prior predicts, paraphrasing from a Steinbeck quote, "I see nasty bowel movements at rest stops on your way to Maryland as a consequence of breakfast at Paradise Diner, not punishment."
*Special thanks to Ford and Brigid Prior for providing a place for me to rest my bones at their lovely Richmond home last night.
