Super Bowl Bets

When making my Super Bowl bets here at the MGM in Las Vegas, I wanted to be as unbiased as possible. I don't care about either of the teams participating in the game, and just want to make a modest profit while creating a vested, if somewhat arbitrary, rooting interest as I find myself coincidentally in Sin City for the year's biggest American sporting event. However, before writing about the following wagers, a note on the fans I have come across on this trip:

NFL football fans are the worst type of sports fans. While the statement in the precedent sentence may seem either contradictory or self loathing since I am writing about football from a city where football fans inhabit with gusto this weekend, whatever. The worst. Masses of crowds, moronic tribal allegences to teams that suck away their money like leeches while poorly representing their respective cities of which they'd just as soon leave if those cities don't give in to the teams' extortion demands for new stadiums.

But here I am, surrounded in Las Vegas by mostly Seattle fans. By my estimate, the Hawks fans outnumber Pats fans 2 to 1. They cheered their drunken cheers. They wore their overpriced jerseys. They occupied the same morally bankrupt gambling halls, buffets, and bars as me. No doubt these fans are no more awful than New England fans. And no more awful than me as I too am here. But here I am, and so are they.

Flying into Las Vegas, I was torn between picking Seattle or New England. I ultimately went with New England for no other reason than that I do not think Bill Belichick will allow his team to lose, even if he has to deflate every football in the American southwest. And so I bet on the Pats on a line that was a pick 'em, which had moved from NE -1 only hours before  I placed my bet (a move that can likely be attributed to all the Seattle fans here putting money on their Hawks).

With 13/2 odds I put some money on New England to win by 13-18 points. I think the game will be closer than that. But I like the payout for a two-TD NE win.

A pro-Seattle bet I had to make was that Russell Wilson will pass for more than 1 1/2 TDs, a payout set at +110. It is not necessarily consistent with my theory of the game. Notwithstanding that, I think #russellhustlebustlemanmusclewilson will throw 2 TDs, and the payouts alright for the bet.  Wilson is also my favorite player in the game so it would be nice to profit off his success.

I bet that Rob Gronkowski will score a TD. If New England wins, I think Gronkowski finds the end zone.

Finally, I made two parlay bets, one soley for the first half and one for the entire game. First half: points will be scored in first 5:30 of the game (by 9:30 mark of first quarter); first score of the game will be a FG; and the first score of second quarter will be a touchdown run. It is a 6 to 1 payout.

The parlay for the game is as follows: patriots score more points in third quarter than Hawks; Pats score more than 24 points on game; Pats score more points in second half than they do in first half; Brady throws more TDs than Wilson; and Seattle is last team to score. The payout if all are correct is 20 to 1.

If you're sitting around wondering for which team to cheer, disregard all those frivilous emotions and remember what the NFL is all about: money. So root for me to make a modest sum.