The hairs on my cheeks are longer,
my finger nails are twice their size
and there is a large crane
towering over downtown in my hometown.
Fine things that I thought were fine
are not fine to me anymore. Young woman
look much too young, uninteresting and boring.
Booze sometimes seems fine
but sometimes it seems like the worst
like a train sitting idle in central Wichita.
I can see my-self now in Kansas, living quietly,
where I used to only see Los Angeles
or another major American city. They seem crowded,
like the hallways of my old high school.
The only things that keep me young now
are the California coastline and the California desert
and sometimes words arranged in the right order
will get me excited enough to read them straight
for hours a sitting. Blue is my color, but red
means passion and I'm no stranger, but
I must have fallen asleep, because I need
coffee, coffee cake and I have coffee eyes.
Redlands, CA
10/14/10
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